Five and One

We now have a five year old and one year old. And a very messy house. At night, I sometimes spend time in each of the bedrooms, I may start out in our bed, move to Nathan’s when he wakes up, and then to Jonas when he wakes up and finds me in Nathan’s room. And that’s okay.
We had Nathan’s first birthday at the Russian Renaissance restaurant. There was lots of good Russian food and Nathan zipping around in his walker in his tuxedo like some sort of speedy James Bond. And now we are winding down the nursing. Which makes me sad. It is one of the most lovely things about having had kids. It is both like we are almost the same person, and at the same time, it is a peak into a world that seems to be from some other place.

Marriage and First Teeth

Jonas, I know that you will cringe if you were to read this when you’re older, but your papa told me that you to told him during bedtime that you wanted to marry me. And I thought that was the sweetest thing. You don’t say I love you, though you used to say “you’re my best friend,” to us. So, I suppose “I want to marry you,” is a variation of you’re my best friend, or possibly even I love you. I think that Ocean Shore is going well for you, though it’s hard to tell with you sometimes as you rarely get outwardly upset. You did tell me that you love the Pacifica day care you go to before and after school, where you get to build legos. It makes me feel good when I hear boys say “hi Jonas,” when you arrive.
Nathan, you are getting your first tooth and you are on the move always. I try and read you a bedtime story (Goodnight Moon) because everyone says you need a bedtime routine and I don’t think lunging at toys is the settling routine they have in mind. But I think we might be making progress. I still sit by your crib and put my hand through for you while you’re settling into sleep. But now you cry less and don’t need to hold my hand tightly to your chest. Now you move around the crib and come back sometimes to put your head on my hand. Sometimes you do it from a sitting position so that you’re bent over almost like you’re praying because I think you don’t quite know how to get back to the laying position. So I try to help you gently to tip you over. You still wake up three times in the night to feed, but that’s okay. Usually at between 11:30 and midnight, 2 and 4:30.

Goodnight Trees

Nathan, when we go to sleep we go up to the window and say good night to the trees and sky and then I say good night to you and close the curtains. You like looking at the tree branches swaying in the wind. And they do look like they’re watching over us. No one else sees them as they drive past on the road. They are the forgotten trees, the ones put in to hide other things. But they exist too. Just like us.

Dreams

Yesterday was the last day of Vika's before kindergarten today. You still talk about the dream you had where you rolled down the sidewalk at Vika’s. This time today though, it was Papa instead of Grandpa who was there.
Nathan, I know I have to stop it, but nursing you to sleep is a small slice of heaven for me. Your soft barely there hair, the smell of you and the faint smell of milk as you lay under my arm.

Shshsh and Melting Ice

You are asleep at my feet, laying in my office on the floor with a blanket wrapped around you. Most times you like to lay in my lap and have you rub your back. When you were smaller, you’d come out of the bedroom and curly up into my, your head against my stomach and your legs folded under you. Even in Chicago, you did this, letting me rub your back until I have to move my legs finally as I am on the hard tile floor of the kitchen.
Yesterday we went to hockey. The rink was having problems with the temperature so the ice was melting too quickly and everything had a look of wet about it. You were soaked by the time you were done with your lesson.
Nathan, you like to sit and nurse now. I am trying to make it to 9 months. You are making the funniest faces now. You make pucker your lips and squint your eyes and make a sort of shshsh sound. I think you are trying to talk so I do the same thing back to you. It is our secret language.

Graduation and Happy Baby

Time flies. Or actually it skips. You’re one place and suddenly you’re in another. If it flew, there would be less surprise. You just graduated from preschool last night. And now you have a little brother, Nathan. And you guys are the best parts of my lives. And when I’m old(er) I want to be able to look back and remember all the small moments that made up the best part.
During your graduation you said loudly, “my baby is smiling.” And he probably was. Nathan was in front of me in the Ergo 360 though, so I could not verify, but his legs were kicking happily so I am assuming he was. You were so earnest during your parts of the graduation performance, “Mom and Dad don’t be sad….”with your little hands adding emphasis. They had caps and gowns there but they were there for photos afterwards. You wanted your picture taken in it, so papa took you back in after we’d gotten to the car and you’d asked. I went home with your brother and wolfed down a Tuna Tombo from Munchery while I waited for you guys to come home.

Stinky Secrets

Today we did a drop in gymnastics class. On the way there I told you, you know I used to live in this city. And you told me, “Mama I know. I know all your secrets.” I asked you what secrets of mine you knew, and you said, “I know that you love me and that you kiss me during the night.” Then, during the class you told the teacher, “One time me, my mama and Nathan were all stinky and needed baths.” The sound of your voice carried clear all the way up to the bleachers and I could only laugh.

My Helper

Sunday we had our first trip to the grocery store. I pushed Nathan in his stroller and trailer a grocery cart behind me and Jonas used the kids cart at first. And then Jonas said he needed to put back the kids cart and push my big cart. So he did and that’s how we made it through the store. Me pushing Nathan and directing Jonas for hat items to get. He was tremendously helpful and I was very proud of him.

We also built Spaghetti Man, a super hero whose super power is getting kids to like pasta. He has a noodle rope and a spaghetti bowl (in his stomach cabinet) that freezes kids when it lands on their heads.

Where We Were Born

We took Bart to Jonas’ ice skating lesson, which was an adventure since Bart has no bathrooms. We would up having to stop at Old Navy on the way there. Having an infant and 5 year old in tow doesn’t leave you a lot of options bathroom-wise. Especially considering that there aren’t that many options to start with. Some lady tried to get on the elevator before the doors closed and I didn’t hold them open. I explained to Jonas that it not holding open the door was not polite, but that peeing in public was even less polite.

Nathan laughed for the first time. Jonas saw it first. When we were passing a big building he said, “that’s where we were born.” And I thought, it’s not just where he was born, or where Nathan was born, it is where “we” were born as a family.

Zoo and Snowflakes

Today we headed out to the zoo. It was nice to be able to go during the week when it’s not super busy. Jonas played on the playground and was really good about telling me when he was going to another part of the playground and letting me know where he was headed. Unfortunately, we hit the zoo during Nathan’s “I’m-awake-but-not-happy-about-it” phase. Which made it a little difficult to keep an eye on Jonas and also rock/give the binky to Nathan.

I’ve also learned to remember not to drive with my coat on since once Nathan starts crying I start sweating profusely. It’s like trying to diffuse a bomb where sometimes it’s the green wire and sometimes it’s the red wire.

In the afternoon we walked to Safeway for some supplies. The checker guessed Nathan’s age as 6 or 8 months old. When I told him two months he was very surprised. And when Nathan flashed him one of his huge grins, he was even more surprised and even called over the bagger to see it.

After Nathan went to sleep (8 o’clock – yea!) Jonas and I made more “snowflakes” with borax. No shoveling required.

Book(toy) Store

Day 2 – Visit to the Book (Toy) Store We made it out today to Barnes and Noble. It appears that the bookstore is morphing into a toy store. Even though the toy selection is much better than your average toy store, and much more neatly stacked, I had to stand by my rule of “no buying toys at the bookstore.” Since many of the kids books also included toys I had to add, “and no books with toys inside.” I know, I’m a big meanie. I did let Jonas have chocolate milk from the café though. He told me I should let him have it right away when we got there or else he’d be asking me the whole time for it and I had to laugh and agreed. See – not a meanie sometimes.

In the end the final count for the trip was:

Bathroom trips: 4 (2 for Jonas, 1 for Nathan and one for me).

Number of times the golden ninja was lost: 2

Number of times the golden ninja was found: 2

Number of times a certain child was warned to keep track of the golden ninja: 8,377

Number of books bought: 3 Things on our "To Do" Board:

Pizza

Drop off forms

Bookstore

Snowflakes

Day 1

Highlights of Day 1 of single-stay-at-home-mama-dom involved:

• Playing chess.

• Cleaning out the cabinets in which certain tiny critters had been spotted. All opened items were tossed and shelves wiped down with bleach wipes. Jonas helped spot the little guys during the vacuuming. It was like a scene from a Hemingway novel – if Hemingway had never left his kitchen. In his honor I felt like celebrating our victory with a drink, but in honor of the mechanics of breastfeeding deferred the celebratory drink.

• Lots of legos (as always).

• Starting to learn time – Jonas learned the “o’clocks.”

• Realizing we’d run out toilet paper right after Jonas pooped.

• Followed shortly thereafter by our first outing out together to the store. I successfully returned with both kids and most of what we went to get – most importantly the toilet paper.

• Reading: I Love Monkey and Where the Sidewalk Ends. Jonas said he knows where the sidewalk ends – at parks.

• New activity for Nathan – pulling him up by his hands from a propped up position on a pillow to a sitting position. He seemed to enjoy the new view. He expressed his appreciation by pooping. Copiously.

Welcome Moon Boo Boo Boo

Welcome Nathan Alexander to this world and to our tiny corner of it. It's kind of messy and you'll find that our menu selections are often of dubious nutritional value, but we already love you an impossible amount.